Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
