Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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