lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
