We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
