A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
