Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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