so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
