This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
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the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
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Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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