I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
