I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
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