and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize