Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
