VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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