there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
