Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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