If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
