Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
