If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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