I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
