I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
