seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
