apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
