Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
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Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
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WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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