You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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