I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
