dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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