its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize