i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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