paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
