That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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