Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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