I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you have to choose: penises or morals?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
