Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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