Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
