Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
