I think my fart just growled at me.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
