so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
