just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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