I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
