I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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