new low.... made out with someone while peeing
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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