How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize