You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
