my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
