so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
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I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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