Fine. I'll sleep in my office
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
