Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
