I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
