ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize