It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
