I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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