i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
