no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
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The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
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Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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