Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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