he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
