i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
