just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
