these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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