let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
