I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize