omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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